People Be Real

Okay, so this past week I have been fortunate enough to have had some very thoughtful conversations with a few friend who has truly meant the world to me!  It is amazing how when you have life changing events in your life your world becomes crazy, yet still becomes complete.  My thoughtful conversations have let to more conversations and a lot of self evaluation of what I truly want out of life.  A few things I do know for sure. 
~ I want to be happy!
~ I want to spend my life with someone who truly loves me!
~ I want my husband to be a God fearing man, who will take charge of our home!
~ I don't want to be with someone who will say "I'll go to church with you if it is what you want."  I want to be with someone who takes my hand, leads me to the car, opens the door, lets me in, drives us to church and we walk through life's joys and sorrows together.
~ I want to be with someone who will listen to and take into consideration my concerns and desires and make the final decisions in our home.
~ I want someone who will take my hand and lead me out of the dark should I end up there.
~ I want someone who will respect my boundaries and wishes until the ring is on my finger and the I Do's have been spoken.
~ I want to enjoy life
~ I want to wake up everyday next to my best friend and the love of my life.

You may call me old fashion with some of my terms, but I would say to you, look at society, look at what society calls normal, acceptable and average.  If you can live with that, great; but I can't.  I've lived with past individuals I was in a relationship with, it didn't work for me.  I've felt as though I was truly in the pits of Hell and struggling for air.  It is amazing how easily what society deems acceptable can become your very own definition of acceptable.  I get angry with myself for letting my standards become average.  However, I need to remember, I serve a God with amazing love and forgiveness.  A God who loves me no matter the mistakes I have made.  I trust that he will guide me through life, and through these decisions and choices.  I will arm myself with his weapons and fight his fight. 
My prayer is to find that someone who will fit all of my terms and all of God's as well.  I pray that God will guide me in doing his will and keep my feet on his path.  I am thankful to God that he has put new people into my life!  I am thankful for my new friendship and our conversations and support of one another.
I know I am not perfect and far from it.  I do not claim to be by any means.  I know at times I fall short of my own standards and I know I fall short of Gods'.  However I am striving to become a better person everyday.  Who knows; maybe God has already put this person into my life!?!  How sweet would that be!  All I know is the past week, although challenging to face the day's, has been one of my happiest!!  Thank you!